The Denja Family: October 2012

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

in a new york minute

Photos of the DUMBO area of Brooklyn where Tita, Tito & Liliana live. This was the the night of Hurricane Sandy

They had power most of the time but the relatively new 20 story building shook all night

Thankfully their building is on higher ground and so the water did not reach it.

The Manhattan skyline

The newly restored 1922 carousel on the promenade where Isabel visited this past summer

After 2 hurricanes, an earthquake and a worse winter than Detroit, Chicago might be looking better.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

So I’ve been eagerly looking forward to this birthday for some time. 38 isn’t anything special for most people I’d imagine, but for me, it marks the point I’ve known my husband for half my life. Which seems endearing and romantic and sentimental rather than…you know…danger, danger, approaching 40!

It seems like such a long time to know someone: half your life. I was thinking of all the blessings he has brought with him, the most amazing in-laws EVER. Countless cousins and aunts and uncles and friends of their family, all the Chaldean connections ;) Not to mention the six beautiful children.

And then this morning I found the autograph insert from my junior and senior yearbooks. And I saw adorable notes from kids I went to high school with, with all kinds of hidden inside jokes I’ve long since forgotten; but not their faces, not the memory of a wholesome upbringing in a small town. Even when we were bad (and we were bad), my childhood was mostly wrapped up in the cloak of innocence that comes with small town life. I just celebrated my 20 year high school reunion and I’ve realized over the last 20 years more and more that I was just surrounded by great people in high school, and really all my life.

My sister's wedding two weekends ago already had me thinking of the family friends from way back when, like when we played kick the can on a cul-de-sac in Harbor Beach. When our parents went off to dance club and we stayed at the Finlans with a shared babysitter. How I used to cook Club crackers with Beth Mausolf in her Easy Bake oven and all the sleepovers out on Jenks Road. How when the first Michael Jackson album came out, I was on the top of the Coakley’s monkey bars and we all went inside and listened to it…on a turntable. I thought of every summer going up to the UP for vacation on Brevort Lake or later Drummond Island. How I learned to swim in Lake Huron. How to this day, Lake Michigan remains my touchstone and summer doesn’t feel like summer until I’ve felt those waves crashing against me.

I had an utterly idyllic childhood. A mostly stay-at-home mom, super great family friends who remain to this day in my life, teachers who encouraged and liked me (though I guess it could’ve been because my dad was their ‘boss’ sort of), not too rich that we weren’t able to appreciate little things like eating out, not so poor that we weren’t able to take family vacations or rent movies every weekend and watch them over and over again on the brand new VCR technology! My mom and dad remain together this day; all four of my grandparents lived to see at least one of my kids and one of them still remains.

Really the only tragedy or evil I’ve ever seen firsthand in my life has been a direct result of poor choices I’ve made. Anything can happen, but I’ve repeated out loud more than once in my life when I’ve felt like something wasn’t going my way “it’s not cancer, it’s not cancer” and I remember how blessed I am and have always been. Though I have and will probably always struggle in my adult life with money, I have never not been able to put food on the table or gas in our car. Through scholarship (the kindness of strangers) and sacrifice (mostly my husband's) we're even able to pay for them to be in one of the most amazing schools that has ever existed and been able to encounter countless, truly amazing families through SSA. And though I don’t have a perfect marriage or perfect kids (though one is close!), I still have an overarching happiness and stability in my life. Even in my hardships and heartache, I have a religion that embraces the blessings in disguise and a spirituality and sense of humor that I can only thank God for daily.

I also work with amazing people at an amazing place…nothing fabulous or newsworthy, but a place where people are both good and kind and their own kind of down-to-earth fabulous. A place that I not only don’t dread but often look forward to going every work day, where I look forward to saying “I’ve been here for 40 years” and where I say with pride right now that I’ve been here for 20. A place where I met my husband, drank coffee for the first time, became an adult, where I worked but took maternity leave when I became a mother…all six times.

It’s not a fancy life, it’s not filled with movie-worthy excitement or intrigue; even the obstacles I have overcome are pretty mundane when you think of what many people have had to face but I am proud of the sacrifices and most of the choices that I have made. It’s a life that has already brought me more happiness than I deserve.

So here’s to all of you who have made my life wonderful, thank you for being my friends. Thank you for being my family. Thank you for being my husband. I'm so incredibly grateful to have spent almost half my life with you! Here’s to 38! (I hear it’s like the new 21!)